Holidays can be challenging for caregivers and families of individuals living with Alzheimer’s and related dementia. To reduce stress, experts offer some practical advice on how to create a positive and supportive environment during the holidays, ranging from setting realistic expectations to focusing on familiar traditions.
We caught up with Never Alone Consulting Founder Paula Levy, who has worked in geriatrics for more than 30 years, in particular working with family caregivers and individuals living with dementia, on how to cope during the holidays.
Paula reminds us that with the holiday season just around the corner, it’s always nice to pull out the decorations that represent significant remembrances, which stir up fond memories and traditions that have come to mean so much to us and our loved ones.
“But when a family member is diagnosed with dementia, holidays take on a whole new look and dimension and, more often than not, families are not prepared or sometimes even refuse to acknowledge that things need to change,” she says. She suggests many families just try to “push through it,” maintaining the same traditions, and this might cause stress for both you and your loved one living with dementia.
Paula suggests that with some adjustment and forethought, holidays still can mean just as much, if not more, as families learn to adjust to new and simpler traditions. “Scaling down your holiday gatherings will not only make the time less stressful for your loved one, but it will likely be less stressful for you and everyone else involved too,” she says. “The lower the expectation, the better the outcome.”
Some tips for managing expectations for gatherings with loved ones living with dementia over the holidays include:
- Maintain a simple routine. Stick to familiar routines as much as possible to reduce confusion and anxiety, and plan activities during the time of day when the person is most alert.
- Set realistic expectations. Communicate with family members ahead of time about what to expect and how to interact in a patient and supportive manner. Keep family gatherings small or consider having a quiet room where the person with dementia can take breaks if needed.
- Focus on comfort and familiarity. Play familiar music or songs that have special meanings as they can help stimulate memory. Create a calming atmosphere and keep decorations simple and familiar to avoid overstimulation or confusion.
- Include them in simple activities. Encourage participation in activities individuals with cognitive decline can manage, such as looking through photo albums, helping to set the table, or other simple tasks. Watch for signs of fatigue or stress, and shift to a quieter activity if needed.
- Be patient and flexible. Conversations may need to be adapted. Avoid correcting or arguing with the person if they become confused, and if they do, redirect the conversation to something soothing.
- Watch for signs of overload. Pay attention to body language or behavior changes that signal frustration or fatigue and be prepared to shorten the visit or adjust plans for the well-being of the person with dementia.
- Keep meals relaxed. Avoid complex meals that could be challenging for the person to manage, serving food that is easy to eat and familiar to them.
- Encourage family education. Help family members understand that changes in behavior are part of the disease and not intentional. Share tips you might know with others who are less familiar with the disease.
- Celebrate traditions thoughtfully. Reminisce with stories and traditions that they may remember but do so without pressure. Consider adapting your traditions to allow for engagement without too much stimulation.
Caregivers should remember to take care of their well-being too and seek support when needed. Approaching holiday gatherings with flexibility and empathy can make them more enjoyable and meaningful for everyone involved.
Jackson Creek Senior Living offers a continuum of living options for seniors 62+ living in El Paso County, including dementia care at its Creekside memory support community. Paula Levy is a frequent guest speaker and roundtable facilitator at Jackson Creek. If you would like more information on how to cope with the holidays for an individual living with dementia or to learn about our services or family friendly caregiver support groups, please visit us online at jacksoncreekseniorliving.com or call 719-259-1331.
